I have been down the path, where I feel you shouldn’t go. When a loved one, like your grandmother, begins to get dementia. But instead of making yourself available to not miss the moments, you run. You run because you do not know how to approach a loved one not remembering who you are. You are unsure if the call you make or the hug you give will be one they are recognising. And you forget that you should DO it anyway. You assume they wont. I barely understand it all and its new to me. So many reasons, none of them are needed.
“Hey Nan, it’s Me!”
“Oh love, hello! Are you still in Melbourne?”
Smiling. “Yeah, I am Nan, still down here. Warm day today!”
“Yeah, you with your brother?”
“Oh I mean, your uncle, have you seen him?”
“Not as much as we should Nan! Has he come to visit?”
“Yeah, he was here for Christmas!”
“Yeah, when I was! Was a lovely day. Sorry I wasn’t there longer”
“That’s OK love. Understand you have your life to get on with too.”
“But that life has you in it, Nan!”
“Yes I know, but everyone has to move and grow up. Some days it is tough, but I love you all”
“I want to come up there again soon. Can I stay there in April?”
“Love, of course, you can! Plenty of room.”
“Great, you will see me in April then!”
“Oh, this has made my day!”
She shouts out to my cousin down the hall, “Yes, he called me! I was only thinking of him this morning!”
Smiling, and getting a few tears. Why did I hold off on this?
“You there? Love, OK I have to go, but thank you for calling”
“I love you, Nan, look forward to seeing you soon!”
“I love you very much! Hooray!”
We must all call more.