Wander or Wonder?

So, its day 5 of my new job and 4 days since Neal and I called it a day.

Quick update on my work.

Everyone is STILL friendly and I have found my feet quite well. It isnt a bad job, and will probably be happy here. I still eat my recess and lunch by myself… whether that is cause I am the new kid or cause I wont ever eat with others. There is a chance though..

On Tuesday I was walking to work and running up some stairs and accidentally ran into a guy and he fell over. I THEN realised he had a cane. He was blind. Shit. I just pushed over a blind man. Before I realised he was getting himself up and shouting in the other direction at whoever pushed him over. Ermm what do I do here. I said sorry and walked off. Felt terrible.

I been going to the gym near my work. Surry Hills area.. and yeah its quite gay. So not sure if there is any point mentioning any guys who amuse me. No wait, there is.
I was in the change rooms on Tuesday night, and this older business man kept looking at me. I ignored him, but was forced to walk past him. He moved right out of the way and gestured in the direction I was walking in, like I was the king or something. I cringed and walked past him and he patted me on the back. We were mates.

So yeah, going back to Neal. I am

It hurts.. and the normal sadness is there. Everyday I wake up, I still have those 5 seconds of normality then remember what happened. I find this breakup hard because its not like we hate each other. It was cause of other reasons relating to where I am at.. So hard to kind of comprehend. Let alone how Neal does it.

Though am feeling more positive. Got a lot of hope too.

The irony, I just realised… I have a giant poster of Superman sitting next to my desk at my work. Superman, like I am sure many men would agree, helped them realise they were gay. So really some gay men would agree not just many men in general. Now I am employed where they helped create the latest film. Living the dream… living the dream.

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