July is pretty darn cold..

The last week has been 2 degrees at night. This is Australia, not London. OK now that I have vented that I can also justify how lame I am that I have an electric blanket. It cures the cold really. Until its time to get up at 6am and go for a run.

The hill near my house is where I go for a run. When I leave to go there its dark so the first time I run up the hill there are other dark objects there too, they are other humans and canines. Then the sun begins to rise and the shapes get lighter and they dont all seem like criminals anymore but old ladies with their foo foo dogs.

The view up the top is just simply worth seeing. Probably more from the perspective of me who grew up in Sydney and from this hill you can see every part of Sydney, even the pretty airport..

I visited my family home last weekend and finally lugged some more of my possessions back to my home. In it was my coke bottle collection which naturally everyone has and realised I have nowhere to put it let alone display… into storage it goes. Along with all my written diaries I wrote in the space of 2003-2006. It is quite haunting to read them. They are written to God as such and how I felt. There is so much guilt and apologies in there, cause of how trapped and lost I felt, I couldn’t even write the word gay in there, in case someone read it, but just kept begging God to change me and for me not to give up. I am simply so thankful I was given the path to get out of that mind. Though also makes me sad thinking of hw many people are still out there feeling that. I believe God never wants people to feel this guilt and hopelessness about who they are.

Holidays.. I want to decide where to go. I could go to London again and spend some time there for two to three weeks. Or go somewhere like NYC. Though both are expensive but full of possible adventures. Or the other thought would be to just stay here and do something local.

Sometimes I still censor things on here because of the worry certain people read it and dont want to offend or hurt them. I guess that is understandable, but then there is so much going on that I cant even begin to say and it looks like all I have to say is stuff about running up hills and coke bottle collections.

I also got my piano back in the house. Play Lloyd, Play.

Constructive

So things seem to go upside down and then become a lot more constructive. Then they go back to being that upside down thing again.

About a month since my last blog.. surely not!! I totally lose track of time and forget this exists. Mainly cause I have a fear of writing and something good not coming out. Or laziness.. Or forgetfulness but this has already been mentioned.

So.. update.

Work: Going fine, been there 6 weeks now. I get along with pretty much everyone and some of them are brilliant. Even. We shall see how I go with my chat once my trial is finished in begining of November but all should be fine. Some of the producers have even offered to show me what they know etc.

Feelings: Well, hey does anyone really care? We all got them.. I miss Neal quite often. I freak out and panic, wondering what the hell am I doing? I had an amazing guy, who shared himself with me. The safety and security and the love I had. Now its me and some unreliable thing called me. Though I am reminded by friends/Neal that this is for the best right now.

I read this book called “The Shack” by William Young. About a man’s experience with God one weekend. It was really quite challenging. My past seems to be more up front and not as bitter, with the knowledge that if there is a God, he isnt one to throw lightning at me, but one to give me a hand.

I had lunch with an old friend today, who asked me why dont I write more, or why dont I do the things I love more? My answer: Because so many people already do this, too much competition. Well I got told off instantly for that answer. He is an opera singer, and said, “Lloyd other people sing, yet I do it. Dont make this about other people”. Shut down! Pretty bloody true.

So here I am writing blogs again, that I have NO idea if anyone reads apart from a few nice friends who comment sometimes. Well hey, the purpose like I have said before is anything but to have a massive following, but for me to get into habits of writing.

Oh fun story. .well not heaps fun. I was trying to find some gum in my pocket, tripped on the entrance to a car rental place, and slashed my foot open cause my thong (flip flop, not the underwear) fell off at the same time. So I got an injured foot. I wont post an image cause this is not the type of blog to explore such species as that.

I am boring, I dont have much to put up photo wise. So lets… all… see…… a music video I made with my best buddy Heather a few months ago.

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

And so we begin… DAY ONE

Ok, so lets see how this goes.

I want to just talk about what I have done or talked about with people.

So Neal (my boyfriend) and I, discussed what we believed in, right this very present.

Neal said he believes in family. The idea of it, and his own family in specifics. They stuff up but always come through.

I said I believed in enjoying this life. And helping others enjoy it. Thats it for me right now. But I miss God. I grew up in a strong reformed Christian background. Though the whole gay thing through everything out the window, and I have felt ever since that I had to make a choice. Gay or Christian. Though I know it is possible to reconcile them both.

I want to talk out where I am at with this, as go along in the next chapter of my life. Video blogs and pictures and words.

Lloyd.

Lloyd’s Adventures in London 2005 Chapter 8 AND 9


Yes, a good deal i know, another 2 for 1 issue.
I wont hide the fact, its cause I have been busy, not cause its a
special deal about getting 2 weeks worth of news in one email.
OK where did i leave off.. before christmas.
Ok well I had a great christmas, in Windlesham, which is a nice suburb
of outer west london, in surry. Fergie lived just down the road. I
stayed with my friend stevens family and had a great christmas dinner.
And they even had gotten me presents, was so cool. good thing i bought
toblerone with me, they liked that. We played balderdash after dinner,
and i explained the rules. And I was reading out all the definitions..
and stevens mum said “oh that ones mine”. She hadnt gotten the rules
yet. So we did it again, and we all finally came around to the idea of
how to play. Ignore this bit if you got no idea what balderdash is. We
also played trivial persuit, but yeah it was the english version so i
had no idea with 75% of the questions.
Boxing day, we went down to the village where the pram race was taking
place, lots of people dressed up in ridiculous outfits, running to
each pub, having a drink then goin to the next. It was so cold as
well.

Stevens brother and his girlfriend came that day so we had another
christmas, and i got another present, the triology of taxi. A french
action film series. Seems cool.
We then played balderdash again, and noone shouted out whos was whos this time.
the next morning…. it snowed!!!! I looked outside and huge chunky
flakes of snow were falling, so i ran outside and caught some in my
mouth. I played up the whole aussie who had never seen snow thing a
bit, even though yeah i had seen it. It was a novelty for them anyways
to watch.
I got back to London and hung out with my scottish mate Jon who was
down, and then me, Jon and oscar hung out and went out that night, had
lots of fun. We watched this show called 3 non blondes, about 3 black
<!– D(["mb","women doing random things in the streets to people. Chem, Karina and
Kylie, you would love it. As well as everyone else.
The next day, I met up with Jono, mate from my Chile team, who had
just landed in london, who is going to live up in Scotland for a year.
Was cool to see him, but bizarre cause it was odd seeing someone from
my life in australia, in london.
Ardon called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to Oxford the city
for new years and I said yes, cause it would be different. So me and
him and Oscar caught the train up on new years and turned up in the
old city of oxford. Was amazing, cause there were so many old
buildings. I was pulling around a suitcase on wheels and I fell over a
few times cause the suitcase kept getting caught in the old
cobblestones. The others found it amusing. I got angry at the bag.
We met up with ardons friend Eric and went to his pub he worked in,
and counted down to 2006. Happy New Year everyone!
It was then 2006. We said, hey everyone happy 2006. So we walked
around, in 2006. To another club. And danced to songs playing in 2006.
Had a late night and crashed at the hotel. Felt like grown ups booking
our own hotel.
Got back to london the next day and then just had a pretty laid back
few days, before I started work again.
I started looking for flats again, and i saw this good one in
stockwell so said id take it, and i was meant to move in last
wednesday, but the guy called me up and said he forgot he promised it
to someone else. That really annoyed me, but the same day I got an
email off Steven saying he was told about a flat in Brixton. So I went
to see it, and it was so good, they even asked me to stay for dinner.
I was there for 4 hours! We had so much fun. I decided to take it. So
now need to get the paperwork sorted.
and that takes me up to today, Friday the 6th of January. Tomorrow its
6 months since the London Bombings. So they are talking a bit about
“,1] ); //–> ..>women doing random things in the streets to people. Chem, Karina and
Kylie, you would love it. As well as everyone else.
The next day, I met up with Jono, mate from my Chile team, who had
just landed in london, who is going to live up in Scotland for a year.
Was cool to see him, but bizarre cause it was odd seeing someone from
my life in australia, in london.
Ardon called me up and asked me if I wanted to go to Oxford the city
for new years and I said yes, cause it would be different. So me and
him and Oscar caught the train up on new years and turned up in the
old city of oxford. Was amazing, cause there were so many old
buildings. I was pulling around a suitcase on wheels and I fell over a
few times cause the suitcase kept getting caught in the old
cobblestones. The others found it amusing. I got angry at the bag.
We met up with ardons friend Eric and went to his pub he worked in,
and counted down to 2006. Happy New Year everyone!
It was then 2006. We said, hey everyone happy 2006. So we walked
around, in 2006. To another club. And danced to songs playing in 2006.
Had a late night and crashed at the hotel. Felt like grown ups booking
our own hotel.
Got back to london the next day and then just had a pretty laid back
few days, before I started work again.
I started looking for flats again, and i saw this good one in
stockwell so said id take it, and i was meant to move in last
wednesday, but the guy called me up and said he forgot he promised it
to someone else. That really annoyed me, but the same day I got an
email off Steven saying he was told about a flat in Brixton. So I went
to see it, and it was so good, they even asked me to stay for dinner.
I was there for 4 hours! We had so much fun. I decided to take it. So
now need to get the paperwork sorted.
and that takes me up to today, Friday the 6th of January. Tomorrow its
6 months since the London Bombings. So they are talking a bit about
<!– D(["mb","it. Speaking of the tube.. yesterday i got off at my station and
noticed i had my headphone plug swinging next to my legs.. no ipod
attached. I panicked and realised it was on the tube, but i was up the
other end of the station by then and the tube was about to leave, so i
dived onto the carriage just as the doors shut. Then I waited till the
next stop and jumped out, ran down to my carriage and right on the
seat was my ipod. Close call.
Alright then, thats my adventures. Will let you know if I actually
move into the flat and how it goes.
Enjoy summer for me!
“,1] ); D([“mb”,”Lloyd
“,0] ); D([“mi”,24,2,”108a24691dc556c0″,0,”0″,”Sarah Tonks”,”Sarah”,”srah_whereisthe_a@hotmail.com”,”me”,”7 Jan”,[“yoidjones@gmail.com”] ,[] ,[] ,[] ,”07-Jan-2006 00:31″,”RE: Lloyd..’s Adventures: Chapter 9 and 10 BONUS ISSSUE”,””,[] ,1,,,”07 January 2006_00:31″,”On 07/01/06, Sarah Tonks wrote:”,”On 07/01/06, Sarah Tonks wrote:”,”hotmail.com”,,[“”,””,1] ,””] ); //–> ..it. Speaking of the tube.. yesterday i got off at my station and
noticed i had my headphone plug swinging next to my legs.. no ipod
attached. I panicked and realised it was on the tube, but i was up the
other end of the station by then and the tube was about to leave, so i
dived onto the carriage just as the doors shut. Then I waited till the
next stop and jumped out, ran down to my carriage and right on the
seat was my ipod. Close call.
Alright then, thats my adventures. Will let you know if I actually
move into the flat and how it goes.
Enjoy summer for me!
Lloyd
http://www.youtube.com/get_player

Lloyd’s Adventures in London 2005 Chapter 2


Well. Things are settling down, So i dont think i have to write one
once a week. I know that would kill a lot of people, but adjustment
and change is always necessary. It makes you stronger. So bare with
me.
Well I got back to london after an interesting trip to Wales. Was
relieved to be back. I was ready to settle down.
I got back to oscars and went straight out to a random house party of
his friend. Was in a tiny flat in central london, most people were
speaking portugues and there were two little dogs running around. I
trod on them twice. Accidently of course. Then people attempted to
dance. In a room, and directly outside. .people were lighting
fireworks. It was guy fawkes night, was really cool. The whole of
london was just alight with fireworks. Sort of like bomb raids. 60
years on. Odd really.
Crashed into bed, then slept till like 1pm the next day. And then did
nothing but watch tv. tv is shocking here. What a great sunday. did
nothing.
Monday I started the task of looking for flats. Tis rather painful.
Especially when young sydney boy didnt know where any of the suburbs
were. So used a handy “A-Z london directory” to find each place.
Vauxhaull, Brixton, Pimlico, Stratford, Euston Road, Leyton,
Leytonstone, Covent Garden. And on and on. Phew.
On Tuesday I met up with matt, a kiwi friend who is 23 on this
saturday (19th). We decided to look for flats together. He was new to
london too, and is a school teacher so we combined our efforts, along
with a loot. That is a newspaper out everyday, it even changes colour
everyday! It has all the adds for flats/flatshares in london. It was a
nightmare. We sat in a starbucks. Yes I apologise, I am a traitor, but
they dont have gloria jeans here and they tempted us cause they have
special edition christmas red cups. So I got a gingerbread flavoured
latte and we scanned “the loot”. No real luck. But earlier that day I
<!– D(["mb","had a meeting with a company that helps with new starters from oz, nz,
sth africa. told us about bank accounts, tax, health care, shoes,
coats and Umbrellas. bit detailed. Then they set up bank accounts for
us with HSBC. I got my own bank card. Very cool. That meeting took 4
hours. Painful and i was in a room full of aussies. Painful again,
cause most were loud and annoying, some wore bright yellow australia
cricket shirts, and thongs. It was 10 degrees outside. Good luck to
em.
Wednesday I met up with my dendy boss Iain and he gave me my first bit
of work, reseached the films we are making etc and reading the scripts
and learning to look into how the industry patterns work. Was all
pretty cool. I had earl grey tea. Its bloody good. My favourite now.
And everyone has tea. I mentioned that before.
Then matt and I flat hunted again. No luck. I think other people found
a place that day, I..’m pretty sure. Not us.
Thursday I had a job interview with a media agency, for the Discovery
Channel. We chatted for a bit, she called the channel and they pretty
much said, yes we will have you. Stoked.
I got a call on friday to confirm. So I was to start monday as a
scheduler. I program in tv shows. Friday night oscar and me and his
friends went out to a big club. Was so huge, never seen anything like
it. There were lots of rooms with different sorts of music. I stayed
in the indie room.
Saturday was a nothing day, slept in. Im sure ur all glad i am writing
this cause its so riveting. Went out with Lee on Saturday night, and
this chick performed. I had no idea who she was but everyone else was
screaming. so either they detested her or she was well liked. I found
out she was just voted off X factor. Shame. She sang “your beautiful”
by james blunt. I think you will know which one i mean. its been
played a few times on the radio back home as well as here hehe.
Didnt do anything sunday, but then hung out with Steven at earls court
“,1] ); //–> ..>had a meeting with a company that helps with new starters from oz, nz,
sth africa. told us about bank accounts, tax, health care, shoes,
coats and Umbrellas. bit detailed. Then they set up bank accounts for
us with HSBC. I got my own bank card. Very cool. That meeting took 4
hours. Painful and i was in a room full of aussies. Painful again,
cause most were loud and annoying, some wore bright yellow australia
cricket shirts, and thongs. It was 10 degrees outside. Good luck to
em.
Wednesday I met up with my dendy boss Iain and he gave me my first bit
of work, reseached the films we are making etc and reading the scripts
and learning to look into how the industry patterns work. Was all
pretty cool. I had earl grey tea. Its bloody good. My favourite now.
And everyone has tea. I mentioned that before.
Then matt and I flat hunted again. No luck. I think other people found
a place that day, I’m pretty sure. Not us.
Thursday I had a job interview with a media agency, for the Discovery
Channel. We chatted for a bit, she called the channel and they pretty
much said, yes we will have you. Stoked.
I got a call on friday to confirm. So I was to start monday as a
scheduler. I program in tv shows. Friday night oscar and me and his
friends went out to a big club. Was so huge, never seen anything like
it. There were lots of rooms with different sorts of music. I stayed
in the indie room.
Saturday was a nothing day, slept in. Im sure ur all glad i am writing
this cause its so riveting. Went out with Lee on Saturday night, and
this chick performed. I had no idea who she was but everyone else was
screaming. so either they detested her or she was well liked. I found
out she was just voted off X factor. Shame. She sang “your beautiful”
by james blunt. I think you will know which one i mean. its been
played a few times on the radio back home as well as here hehe.
Didnt do anything sunday, but then hung out with Steven at earls court
<!– D(["mb","on sunday night. I had work the next day so kept it early.
Monday my first day. Walked in the big doors, to reception. They had
these weird lounges and a huge poster of meercats. They phoned my boss
and they came down and i went up three floors. Huge open planned
office with huge pc screens at every desk. I met the guys around me,
all from uk except my trainer Jamie who was NZ and same with the girl
next to me. I dont know any aussies in London yet. Im proud. hehe.
Well I got the hang of scheduling pretty fast. We went down to lunch,
and everyday the menu is different, its a bug buffet, and all fresh
healthy hot food. really really cool. And we all have our own
television set on our desk “for work” but really everyone just watches
cable tv all day. its very relaxed here we can check email whenever.
so thats what i been doing. Its now thursday. And i am looking out
over london this sunny but 5 degree morning. Hope this email isnt as
long.
Miss everyone at home, but love it here, am learning so much and
enjoying it. Let me hear your news!! And I can email ya back. since i
dont do much work here. hehe.
till next time.
Lloyd


d-aaaahh
“,0] ); //–> ..>on sunday night. I had work the next day so kept it early.
Monday my first day. Walked in the big doors, to reception. They had
these weird lounges and a huge poster of meercats. They phoned my boss
and they came down and i went up three floors. Huge open planned
office with huge pc screens at every desk. I met the guys around me,
all from uk except my trainer Jamie who was NZ and same with the girl
next to me. I dont know any aussies in London yet. Im proud. hehe.
Well I got the hang of scheduling pretty fast. We went down to lunch,
and everyday the menu is different, its a bug buffet, and all fresh
healthy hot food. really really cool. And we all have our own
television set on our desk “for work” but really everyone just watches
cable tv all day. its very relaxed here we can check email whenever.
so thats what i been doing. Its now thursday. And i am looking out
over london this sunny but 5 degree morning. Hope this email isnt as
long.
Miss everyone at home, but love it here, am learning so much and
enjoying it. Let me hear your news!! And I can email ya back. since i
dont do much work here. hehe.
till next time.
Lloyd