Final days..

So am sitting on my mattress on the floor and there is a cockroach that seemed to have been homing in the truss of my bed frame. He seems a bit agitated. Move on mate.

Oh wow, now it is a day later and I am sitting on dining room chair in my half empty dining room in my boxers and a bottle of wild berry cider. Went and saw Brooke Fraser tonight, she is an artist I first discovered back in 2004, with a christian background and subtle/not so subtle message of God. Fond memories of her music, along with having a mate who also likes her, meant we went along to see her tonight. She has an amazing presence and so talented. She also takes people for who they are and performed in a Newcastle Gay Bar to 40 people before a Drag performance, as she knew that is where some of her fans were. See this song, it is my favourite of hers:

I had my nephew’s 1st birthday today. I went crazy with my new camera, I simply love just capturing the moments and story of an event or emotion in general. Both Mum and Dad came too, the beginning of family events where both come. It was good but naturally will only get better I hope. Jersey is such a cute little kid, cant wait to keep seeing how he keeps growing and who he becomes. A simple and amazing gift to watch this occur. And relfect on your own growth from being a kid. When making mud pies under the slippery dip WAS the event of the day.

I said bye to the family today, as I make the big move in 2 days.

Number 3 City.

I have realised that, this will be the second time I have gone on a city change, the first time was when my blog began, almost 6 years ago. That is like 1/7th of an elephant’s life. And it is also 1/6th of a 6 year old’s life as well.

Though when I began, it was all very travel journal like and the word gay didnt really come into it. Or the word triceratops but that only comes into play when you are speaking about dinosaurs, on late night TV.

So back to the blog.. my move is beginning to take shape as Melbourne gets closer. I began the hunt with my CV, with changes and changes. I find you send it to a friend, they give their feedback and then you like it even more. Then you send it to another friend, they criticise another aspect OR say the opposite of the last friend. So really, don’t show it to too many, maybe just a few key people who know their stuff. Which I did this time around and am really happy with the result. When you think about it, two pages represent who you are, as a person and what you rock at. I apparently rock at ping pong ball hunting and filing. It was fun comparing my CV from 2005 to 2011. Its like reading your weekend summary in your creative writing book from grade 3, compared to your history essay in grade 11 on Trench Warfare.

Do I even finish the point of some stories on here? Sometimes no, as I dont even read through my entry, I just click “publish post”.

Idealist and realist. Keeps people guessing supposedly. Its what I am. Have a perfect concept in my head, like.. lindt chocolate bunnies, the ones with the gold bell on them. But at same time, be happy with a Cadbury white chocolate bunny. OK, what was that analogy. And why isnt my question mark working. No really, idealist being I hope for the best and in good times it can be great. So Melbourne is going to be amazing and a perfect opportunity for me. Then realism will kick in and any opportunity will be great, not just the perfect ones. Did that make sense?

Mum told me she is selling her car and going with her gf around Australia in a van. The middle age person dream. When do you catch this dream? I dont really have a desire to do it JUST yet. The company would have to be good and… ok I am gonna stop there. I saw Black Swan tonight and I swear it is a mental mind blow and you feel you are insane yourself when you exit the cinema.

I had a fantastic weekend also, hung out with Dan, a Melbourne Welshman. He makes me laugh and he sucks at applying suncream, and swimming in the ocean. Other than that he is quality. Had a few adventures, like traveling to Cockatoo island and exploring an aspect of Sydney I never knew existed. Glad I can still do this, just as I leave this place. And get to know Melbourne. A few adventures I am yet to have I reckon.

Sydney was voted worst city by its own citizens. The Melbourne paper reported this today.

Me me me. I i i.

Farewell the aussie in the Bum

So today I resigned from work.

It was time, and it feels great. Enough was enough and my gut told me, to get out and jump into another adventure. What job do I go to next do you ask? I say, I got no idea. And am I silly for that? Depends on your attitude I guess. Is happiness based on what you do or what you feel? Or both? I have accepted it isnt about finding THAT career or what YOU do. Just making sure I enjoy it. So many people are given horrible circumstances and have so much more right to vent and say, life sucks. I am not one of those people and so thankful I am given the opportunities I am. Speak to the people I speak to and just watch what goes on around me.

I just had to chase a massive spider up the stairs, as my flatmate was hysterically screaming, demanding I kill it. I dont kill things. I do not feel that cause I am bigger etc, I should just take another life away. So I was upstairs pretending to stamp on the spider and spray it and destroy the existence of it. Then I placed a bit of twig (NO idea what a twig was doing in my other flatmate’s room) and put it in a bottle. Then walk downstairs with flatmate screaming and I put it in the back yard. She then said that it has to be taken even further away. She said she was goin to drive to her parents, 40 mins away, to sleep, if it wasnt gone totally. So I found myself casually strolling up the street with a twig in a bottle. I released the twig, said goodbye and came back down. She let me in once she saw no evidence of the “spider”. So Mr Spider upstairs, thank me. AND do not enter Karina’s room.

The next step? I move to Melbourne. The gut says go, so I shall.

Heard this the other day, I feel this posting is very poppy and cheesy and inspirational, but hey, we all get em 😉 This song just sums up how I feel right now. Hear hear.

2011: Its Gonna Chaaaange….

So it is a week and one day, into 2011.

Do you ever feel like on NYE the world is going to end? Nah… neither do I.

What have I achieved so far. The stronger desire to keep working on where I want to go. Whatever that is. One lesson that sounds cliche but is so true… go with your gut. If you gut feels sick everyday and you feel anxious, that is a definite sign things need to change. It may go away, but its just buried and will keep coming up until you make that change. Thats my tip for 2011 people. One I should really take on board myself.

I went to Melbourne a few days ago on a whim. Went by myself as usual and just strolled. I bought my first Canon SLR, it was a 60D (if that means anything to people) and I had a lot of fun playing with it. Me and my flatmates played Putt Putt Golf yesterday and even a simple game of that, the photos came up amazing. I was stoked. The HR lady at work suggested I focus on hobbies I like, cause a lot of the time, a career can grow out of it. So why not?? I am gonna book myself into a photography course and get into it.

Another resolution, I need to switch off all gay dating sites. It really is a struggle as it is so consuming. A bit lame that you need to get self assurance from.. well.. not yourself.. but from randoms online. When really, most of the time, there will not be anything natural and develop from an online experience. I have experienced it and it has been great, but just so so rare. But its easy to delete your profiles, harder to keep them offline…. Will keep trying here.

And an event just occured with a person that just told me once again, go. with. my gut.

OK, done.