Monthly Archives: November 2009

Attempting


So I have done two weeks of the course and apart from the annoying woman’s voice who teaches online, it is quite interesting and going through a lot of good points and stuff…. see my writing is improving already! Good and stuff hey.

My sister had her engagement party last night. It was really cool, to just see so many extended family members there and people I havent seen in years. Though the sad part was I doubt that we will ever have any massive parties like that again in my family home. But the good thing was Dad and Mum could both come and there not be any awkwardness, its been 4 years since it all ended so time does really move forward things.

My neighbour got plastered and it was hilarious. Mostly christians at this party and then my neighbour, who is a middle aged typicially Australian lady, calling everyone “luv” and continuously drinking cheap wine. It was my favourite form of entertainment for the night, she is awesome. So much more real than others there.

Here is my first assignment. We had to write a paragraph of the opening of a novel. To try and grab the reader’s attention:

“They said they were running 5 minutes late, but looking at the clock, it was another twenty minutes since I answered my mobile. I hope they like my shirt… Did I even wear the right shirt? Short sleave, black and blue chequered, lapels on the shoulders. Denise, with the green broach, said she never trusts someone with a short sleaved shirt. But I didn’t know this was going to happen today, but Denise is right, I wouldn’t trust me either nor did this room. It pushed at me, an unwelcome visitor, even my aftershave was intruding on the rich smell of home, that someone called home. My black shoes, almost hovering on the cool tiles, detached from the silence that kept this place in the past.”

And then second assignment was to write a personals ad for someone really not similar to you and then someone that the character knows has discovered it, so the character has to justify it:

“Part 1:

45 year old female, recently single, dog massage therapist. Attractive, lives with her four dogs and has own car. Seeking mature man who reflects the same passion for human’s best friend and is a non smoker. A man who does not like cricket and enjoys a glass of wine at night.

Part 2:

Lucy,

I know you may say it is too soon, but a woman must move on. Your father has passed on, at least six weeks ago and I have needs too. Why were you even reading the classifieds? Where you looking for something yourself? I didn’t even knew you read the newspaper!

I do not have to justify my desire to send this ad in, I wrote what I did because I believe it’s the next step. And do not hound me about the cricket comment, because I may have pretended to like your father’s love of cricket, but it was your father’s love of cricket that truly drove him to his death, that or the smoking. And so I simply would like a man who would prefer to hang the washing out with me, or teach Daphne to talk. By the way, Daphne is the newest cocker spaniel, I don’t think you have met her, absolutely gorgeous.

And yes, I may not have been as stunning as when I was 40, but the dogs do take it out of you. My customer base is growing and my talent with dogs simply is reflected by the demand. A man who supported me in this and who was even willing to learn to massage canines too, would be a great load off my shoulders.

So please respect my decision, just as I respect yours and the ever so slow grief you are going through over your father. And I am not an alcoholic; I just respect the culture surrounding the intricate taste of wine with my meal at night.

Love Mum. “

I have been having a lot of fun writing it. Recorded here, for the sake of… the internet and stuff.

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