Sick and Unemployed

It is amazing how quickly things change. No matter what happens in my life, I still am a little surprised. I guess that is a good thing, since then life isnt so dull, nor too exciting.

So I got laid off from the job of production coordinating the new show. They couldn’t afford to keep me on while they wait for the go ahead. I completely understand yet, it sucks for obvious financial reasons as well as morale in general.

That word morale.. .it is drilled in my head to make me think of Year 12 Modern History, and the morale of the troops in WW1 and back at home in Australia, the general public’s morale. Geesh, good times..

I also am a tad sick, spending my days in bed under my duvet, watching useless DVDs. I think you end up watching the junk that you should never watch, when you are sick, but hey the external is reflecting the internal, sickness.

To sum it up, things are pretty rough right now. I am confused in general, where I want to head, who I want to share life with, who I want to be, and to be honest with myself at all times, and with others.

A lot of my past continues to bubble to the surface and it causes me a lot of distress. Family, Sexuality and Religion. The three walls that surround me so often, make me feel uneasy and there is no pillow to rest my head. I want to tackle this, so I can find peace, and work towards the passions inside, that die to come out.

I was walking past a car park on the way home from work one day, and saw this scene of computers all piled up. I took a photo because it intrigued me. The chaos and mess, that once held so much information and order. Now all ready to be thrown out. I loved the analogy, yet I guess I will admit it reminded me of how I felt. That sounds depressing, but in some way, the image fascinated me, so it cant be all negative.