I reckon you should only ever get fit, for your own personal want. Not to impress, as having this as your only goal will always make you feel down because it will never be good enough. To accept that whoever ends up liking you will like you for who you are, is actually a true reality. Looking after yourself in mind and body for yourself is what is best. Wow talk about a self help blog intro.. delete, delete.
What is the pivotal reason behind a duvet, dvd, rain outside and no plans and that being amazing? You dont even need anyone else to enjoy it. And its simple.
Just like pushing my niece on a swing, and her giggling like its the best thing ever, saying “more”. Simple stuff helps you have a point of reference of realising, what is worth it in this world.
Went out with mates last night, and always fanastic to hang out with them and just forget about any worries. Or talk about them and bounce ideas around. Last night was one of those nights. It was also one of those nights where I experenced about 4 different times people saying hi to me at a bar and me not remembering why I know them so begin playing this game show of.. “How does Lloyd know this person?” No game show music though, well outside of my head. But it was a fun game no less. But felt a bit bad it happened 4 times. BUT then I felt heaps better when I said hi to a guy I knew through work and we had a chat etc. Then he came back later and then said “sorry, before I had no idea why I knew you, but have since worked this out”. Which I found awesome, he was playing his version of my game show. Or his game show, it probably has slightly different rules.
Also spent all day yesterday on the beach at Manly. I am not really a fan of Northern beaches of Sydney, as they are hard to access and only one real main road that is always crawling with traffic. Who would want to live there? Manly beach isnt even that good. There was a surf rowing event going on there that my company was sponsoring and we also wanted to use it as a backdrop for a shoot. It was the hottest day of summer so far, measuring 46 degrees on the beach. I didnt get burnt.much.more.than.usual. But it was fun, cause the guys I were with are good guys, and the model Matt is a good bloke and heaps helpful and intelligent. One of the shots was a low flying helicopter coming in from the ocean to the shore, filming Matt standing on the beach. Will be awesome to see the shots. Those kind of days are reasons why my job can be very fun and different. Even though it was a Saturday.
Tried to get a Kangaroo burger from a store at the beach yesterday but the sign read “due to heavy rains in northern territory, roos have been unable to be found or shot, therefore we have no meat today”. So I had chicken.
Still waking up this morning, its meant to be about 35 degrees today but left the air conditioning on all night and I am frozen. If we arent whinging its too hot, its too cold.
My mate Chem, Jane and I were hunting for a piercing parlour on Sunday cause they both wanted to be spontaneous and get a piercing. They were also slightly intoxicated so it could have had something to do with it, so we were walking around the city and discovering that piercing people still respect the sabbath it seems and every single one was closed. Jane hadnt gotten the courage to get one for a while. The last time she did, she walked into the store, and a dwarf walked up to her to ask her how he could help. She froze and backed back out of the store. So since we couldnt find one, we ate mexican food and then danced in a pub, telling each other what they had to dance like. My dances were, a broken photocopier and the global financial crisis. Nailed it.
Work this week was tough, challenging and really pushing me. With the combination of adjusting back here and feeling pretty uncertain about the future and where I want to go, it was just one of those weeks where I will look back and go, yeah I like that week now, but at the time, who is up for a scooby doo marathon??
I find I dont often enough talk about music here. When music really helps people keep walking, thinking, dreaming. Florence + the Machine and her song “Swimming” keeps running through my head and makes me smile.
Cockroaches have eaten half a painting I painted, which is a bit sad because of the meaning behind the painting originally, but a friend of mine pointed out, if you dont hate the cockroaches and actually put little name tags on them, they have become art critics. So… what you saying about my art? Reconstructing the interpretation? That sounded like an art term.
I am never going to need this fireplace in my room and it takes up a perfectly good wall where my piano could go.
Have you ever, gotten bored of say.. what I have to say on here and up the top right clicked “next blog”. I thought I would find this amazing variety of deep and interesting blogs. Nope. I clicked 10 times and in those 10 times, 6 of them were “Moms” with photos of their child/ren and christmas and talking about how happy they feel to pack up christmas decorations and welcome in 2010 and that Luke doesnt sleep well at night. Is this for Grandma? One blog was about a dead Pakistan man who has a blog with his eulogy on it, and another was a technical blog that looks like noone reads.
Oh wait, then someone clicks to mine and then clicks “next blog”. I thought it was interesting anyways.
I swear I am the king of procrastination. I fear it and I live it.
My UK trip came and went and it was simply, right. From the moment I landed I was back in a place where I somehow connected with back in 2005 and instantly found my playground and world where I could be anyone and meet new people and have a new life. When I landed there a few weeks ago, I felt that sense again and I think it never grows old. Well, my young age tells me that, but I am sure it probably does.
I met people I was meant to meet, I saw people I already knew and also had closure to other situations. Didnt expect it to be as important as it was and I left feeling gutted, simply because when you have lived in two places in the world, a piece of you will always be in both and it will remain that way.
I could sit here and write amusing anecdotes about my trip, and treat this entry like a travel journal, but I wont. I got those memories and photos, and have already talked about the trip to a few mates, so its out of my system.
Though I saw a lady yesterday, walking through the Domain yesterday, midde aged, lost and had rainbow coloured socks. She just kept walking to a place in the grass, standing there, then going to another, then moving again. Restless, and like some chickens, people can be restless too. Speaking of chickens, Denis, my pet chicken died. Sad moment but alas, it happens and she lived 8 years and starred in a youtube video, and not many chickens get to do that, but I guess more and more do, in this era. So RIP Denise.
Back to closure, me and my friend Heather accepted we were going different ways a lot and learning to have a new kind of friendship where we wont rely on each other as such, because it never really allowed someone else to be that person for us. I know for myself it ruined a past relationship for me. And so now I feel quite free, that a major reason like that, which held me back, makes future look promising.
I am back in Sydney and its bloody hot, and I do love this place and the laid back yet also fickle people here (they exist everywhere, for those who think Australia is some dreamy visually stunning place with beer drinkers, full stop). And will always see this as my home, but I am not giving up on UK and life there, I will be back there one day, and like a mate said today, “you are so impatient Lloyd, do your time and make the most of here”. Which is very true.
A cockroach just twitched on my floor, didnt really put up the notice to them yesterday about the insect bomb I launched yesterday, oh but now they wish I did. Oh, that joke now made me feel a bit of remorse.
Work is tough simply because its post holiday period and also was a reason why I burnt out at end of last year, but with new focus I am sure it will be fine. 2010 is another decade of ramble and hope.
Dedicated to Denise, the chicken. ?-?-2003? to 8-01-2010