If everyone called the operator… And asked where the Milkman was.

No numbers, just simple picking up the receiver and asking the operator to connect you to the baker. Or the lobby of the Ritz Hotel. You know, the usual places you would want to call. I don’t know why I had this thought, or what if we still had the milkman, actually why cant we still have milkmen?? I used to love getting the glass bottles as a kid and pretending they were my pet milk bottles. Technology has not been updated that much that we can now just have milk appear in our fridge. We still have to stroll down the road. Let me Google this..  Oh OK, its actually more about distribution costs and the competition. I thought I was onto something there. Well I did find an image that I would say is slightly on the edges of propaganda (I use the word propaganda as much as I can, it sounds like I am in an arms crisis debate).

Milkman sexy

So I was flicking through my gym’s free magazine (notice the word free, which is the reason why I took it) and it listed a recipe for “Healthy Strawberry Ice Cream”. I was suspect from the beginning but decided to watch myself play the incident out and see how I went making it. I bought a tonne of strawberries, blended them up with the other ingredients (including strawberry jelly?) then placed it in the freezer. I opened up the container the next day and saw it all pink and cold, ready for me to enjoy:

Icecream Stawberry

Though the thing that really lacked in this scenario, was the ability to scoop it. It was frozen solid, like a giant ice cube. So naturally I went for a hammer and a screwdriver:

Stawberry Icecream Hammer

Still this really resulted in small icy chunks of strawberry, enough to fill my spoon. I was slightly satisfied and thanked the strawberries for growing and arriving in the supermarket and letting me try this experiment.

Stawberry Icecream Edwin

Music Sunday – “Origin of Love” by MIKA

MIKA’s latest album really is one of the best that came out of 2012. Full of so much variety and depth, he really is one of the artists I truly respect. This song is the lead single from the album, and what a beautiful video to go with it. Reminds me of home movies and a girl being forced to watch them in some kind of Hispanic setting. Funny that.

Stand Close to Poles at Concerts.

I have worked out a system. This system involves getting to a standing room only gig and finding a pole, pillar or really tall vending machine (though the vending machines arent usually located that commonly in front of the stage). The reason behind this is, it prevents most of the annoying issues with other people at live gigs.
1) People trying to push ahead of you. They cannot, as a pole doesnt move (Unless it does move).

2) For those moments where the best song comes on and you want a better view, you can go on tip toe and lean your heels against the pole for support.

3) If you want to take a great unblurry photo with longer exposure, you can lean your camera against the pole.

4) Great spot to tell friends where you are at (I am next to the pole).

5) You can stick a “I love you” sign to the pole for the Artist to see.

6) You can attach spikes to the pole, and climb them, being able to see more than just hipster guy’s smelly hat in front of you. Wear undies though.

7) You can dress the pole up, if you are going to the gig alone. People will then not think you are alone.

8) Further to the dressing up of the pole, you can attach speakers and a playback device of you and the pole singing the band’s biggest hits.

9) Depending on the width of the pole, explain the heritage of where it came from to those around you.

10) There is a natural inclination to avoid poles, so less crowded.

Thats the system, and I stick to it.

Thankfully last night I went to a gig with friends. And I found the pole and used it for many of the above reasons. The gig was Cosmo Jarvis at The Corner Hotel in Richmond. It was a last minute decision, as I thought he had already finished touring. He is a special artist to myself and my fella, as two of his songs have strong happy memories for us. The first one being when he cheered me up by performing the Gay Pirates Song over Skype, when my flight had been cancelled on the way to visit me. It was one of those moments where I knew he was bloody fantastic.

The other song is more recent, with the words Cosmo performs, is about talking directly to God. Questioning and venting where he is at and how he feels. Naturally I relate to a lot of it. So much uncertainty and so much past pain, where the simplicity of who “God” is, never seemed to be there.

Cosmo also may just be a tad cute. My mate Dale may have become one of those crazy obsessed fans last night, adding his surname to Cosmo’s.


Rolling Pins and New Years

The one thing that most people usually try and do on NYE is juggle. That deep, inner instinct to satisfy the craving inside to be able to throw things in the air and skillfully catch them. “Things “being usually either balls or knives. Though for me when the instinct arose this year and I looked around for what I could practice juggling with, the only likely option other than knives (I am not up to that level yet) was a rolling pin. What is a rolling pin? Well you flatten out dough with it, whether its the same name elsewhere, here in Oz its the name provided. I have provided a sample image below, though the woman featured is no stand in for me. enior Lady with Rolling Pin

Continuing on with the story, I picked up the pin, and even though there was only one (I am not up to the stage of involving more than one object), I gingerly yet professionally threw it in the air. Naturally I caught it and tossed it lightly again and this time, gave it a little spin. My progression continued to get to that wow factor, I looked around as if someone was watching. The only thing that looked like it was watching was my almost dead Christmas tree called Rufus. And he had other things on his mind. In that moment when I looked away, my professionalism slipped. And I dropped the rolling pin onto the kitchen bench, where it then rolled off and onto my toe. Thats what you get when you dont use professional grade pins I guess.

Picking it up and placing it back on the bench next to my phone, I then noticed the new addition to my phone. massive cracks through it. The pin had smashed my phone. Sigh.

iphone 5 smashed

300 dollars later and a final admission of my phone was smashed, I decided not to juggle until next NYE.

May the next year be a year to remember.