The Yarra

The Yarra River is literally two metres next to me and I can hear the whip cracking of a cliché street entertainer above me on the bridge. I am at a café on a bridge pilon and its quite cool. Melbourne. What is worse, the street entertainer or the people who actually stop to watch them?

I flew to Melbourne for the weekend spontaneously by myself, just to get away and feel more interesting. That’s what you do no? This city is full of nooks and crannies and a lot of things to do. It is quite beautiful and totally different to Sydney, and there is no point comparing the two.

Jumped in a cab last night and the guy said “hello, do you mind if I turn this song up really loud, I LOVE it” And then cranked this song that was in hindi and sounded so so bollywood. I had just left a really upsetting situation and instantly I was trying not to laugh at how bizarre the situation was. He then kept looking into the mirror saying he had something in his eye, while tapping the steeting wheel and humming the words. After about two mins, he turned the music down and then asked me if I minded that he pull over at a petrol station to wash his eye. “Um sure”. While I stared straight ahead and wondered if this got any weirder. He pulled over and stopped the taxi metre and then got out, sat on the car bonnet and had a bottle of water and poured it over his head and into his eye. He got back into the cab and smiled, totally wet, “Its gone!” The rest of the trip he changed the station to an English one and he chatted about aussieBum and wondered what it meant. I explaned it was underwear, and he said, “Ahh Aussie BUMS!, HA HA HA”. A minute later I exited the cab and gave him a tip. Weird, but he entertained me and cheered me up.

Why was I upset? Well long story short, a piece of the past came back to haunt me for the night and didn’t expect it to. Sometimes do you wonder if you are back at square one, and its kind of refreshing to accept it but also depressing at the same time? Cause it makes so much sense why you feel or act the way you do and you realise you aren’t insane but actually coherent. When I am not in control of a situation, naturally its hard.

I have done 3 radio interviews about Banana underwear now. And another tomorrow morning. My favourite one has been the Toronto radio station, who loved the way I said “Banana”. Very fun and easy to chat to. But weird that I am doing it, as I am a kid who had always struggled to express what was in my head.

I have discovered I cant handle sitting next to mirrors in a restaurant. Cause there is this self conscious want to keep seeing whats to your left or right but hey, its just you. Oh and its you again, oh and yes, its still you.



  1. Glad to see your spontaneous side coming out, but sorry about the past. It is always with us for better or worse. Always love your posts.

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