When I see that I havent actually written for almost a month, I wonder what that time was. Where I didnt feel like I had anything I wanted to visually see on the screen from my mind. Was it just a silent gap in time or did things occur, did memories lock in place yet the need to express them was not arising. I went to Sydney, saw family and also was reminded why I moved to Melbourne. The city flows with my mind, Sydney does not.
Yet I am not where I want to be. I was at a dinner last night with my friends from Tutankhamun Exhibition and one of them kept asking me what was wrong. If I had been honest and not just said, “No no I am fine, I think you are asking because I have longer hair now, it makes me look moody”, I would have actually said what I thought today. Being around the gang that made my experience last year simply memorable, unforgettable etc and all that stuff, really highlighted that where I am now is like standing on a crust that will crumble soon. Will sink below and not satisfy that need to have purpose. Sure I have my own thin lines of creativity under my arms, sometimes not as strong and supportive yet it keeps me going, I follow these lines forward so I can keep looking. The romantic in me will always see that watercolour image of life to come.
I really like to tell stories. Even just for someone to feel a drop of the essence a story can bring to my own thoughts, makes me happy.
I went down and visited my grandparents last week. My grandfather, who we call Pop, has been quite unwell and recently we began corresponding to each other with letters. I wasnt aware how much this would mean to him and also how much it would mean to myself. the physical action of writing a letter these days is actually painful in the hand these days, slightly concerning as I dont know how I used to write essays, my hand cramped up the other day after a paragraph. The times, they are a-changing. So getting to catch up with Pop the other day was great. I am convinced my Nan and him could be in their own sitcom. I say that then wonder whether it would just be a great sitcom in MY head. Tune in and laugh for half an hour at their banter that sums up my view of a very Australian older generation conversation. Here are a few snippets, yet do not expect to laugh as it may be one of those awkward times where someone is retelling a funny story and the moment comes where the storyteller and the listener realise it isnt funny.
Me: Pop I am vegetarian now.
Nan and Pop together: “Ohh…..”
Pop: What does a veejan put on a bread roll then, chicken?
OK I am cringing now, flicking through my mind at other quotes, it really will remain a sitcom for just my mind.
Onto other important things, a screenshot from my facebook, can anyone see why I chuckled? It can be a challenge:
Don’t lose the optimism you’re known for mate.You’re one of the most creative people I’ve come across, new doors will always open unexpectedly.
Love reading what goes through your head!
Stay classy mate.
Thanks Josh. Unsure exactly which Josh this is, but appreciate the words.
Haha should’ve specified…JR – the dodgey, noncomittal one
Ha ha assumed as much. Hope all is well!