Keep startin at 30.

I type a paragraph, then it saves as a draft and then I go and watch a TV show. Then a month goes by.

I sit down, write another paragraph and then I have to like someone’s post and then read my newsfeed.

My 30th birthday goes by. A few months go by. For some reason writing isn’t as easy as it comes sometimes and I like to talk about that often because it is easier than ACTUALLY writing.

My mum gave me a 30th birthday card with a meerkat on it.

I like to write along one line of thought, because it saves the 1000’s of thoughts rushing at once. I can trace with my finger along one line of thinking, and let it flow. Though which one to choose.

I can leave my house happy if I know I have written something down. So often I leave my house unhappy.

This morning I found document after document of my thoughts from early 2000’s, mostly about the time when lots of change was happening. I am proud of my writing and thankful to my 21 year old self for writing. Because he gives me perspective, he reminds me of where I am now and also encourages me for my own future. 30 is an awesome number and a great age. A sense of self is something everyone has and we all misjudge how much we are truly aware of our own self, though we also overestimate some areas that we think are true, when they are not. About who we are, how we act or process things. 30 has always been there, up there, for someone who is under 30. Same with 40 or 50 or.. 100. You just assume it will always be there, and then you ARE that number. And you are slightly pressured to assess what that number feels like. The same as the number before?

Anyways, thanks 30. No pressure to be anyone else but me. May the stories continue.

Lloyd Falling Water


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